Deathburger 3000 | Time to lay off the Pork Fat

Saturday, while off shopping for new clothes as part of Operation Fat Bastard, I was struck by temptation. The vile, filthy, really really naughty kind. That's right... the most evil of all food cravings. RED MEAT. LOTS AND LOTS OF RED MEAT.

Well, come to think of it, it really isn't that evil or vile. But I can try, right? I can make ground beef really evil if I try hard enough. What about practically being deep fried in bacon grease?

Yep, that'll do the trick.

So, I got a huge baguette, some peppercorn bacon, some extra sharp cheddar, and a couple of pounds of ground beef, and some good Dijon mustard. Grey Poupon SUCKS.

Fry up 4 strips of bacon. In your cast iron skillet, no less.

Mold meat into patties that will fit in the baguette. Make em thick.

Put meat in skillet.

Bacon is very greasy. In my case, there was enough to come up half way on the sides of the hamburger. BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Deep-fried hamburger! It's so f-ing WRONG!

Flip after a while, so we can get the other side nice and crusty.

Put cheddar on top, preferably in uncomfortable chunks.

Toast baguette, sliced into hoagie sized portions. If you don't toast, it will get soggy instantly.

Smear on mayo on the bottom, dijon on top. Place deep fried deathburger inside. Top with bacon.

Eat, if you dare.

This tasted great. But an hour later I felt like I was gonna die. I'm still dealing with the gas. Time to lay off the bacon for a couple of days, me thinks.

But, oh, God, was it good goin down...